more damage than a soul should see
by betweentheraindrops
Summary: Ricky/Adrian. Because he'll always belong to her, even if he doesn't realize it.


A/N: This is more a drabble than a story, but I've lost so much faith in this show. Seriously, I can't get inspired to write for this show anymore. Well, maybe this, but that's because I don't have a life. Ha. But anyways, this is Amy/Ricky/Adrian, though mostly Ricky/Adrian. Post 3x14. Reviews are love.

_And do I try to change him?_  
_So hard not to blame him_  
_Hold on tight_  
_Hold on tight._

_- Beautiful Disaster, Kelly Clarkson_

* * *

He knocks on her side door, impatiently rocking back and forth on the balls of his feet.

Adrian answers the door, wearing her pyjamas; billowy tank top and black PINK yoga pants and he thinks she's beautiful. She always has been, but right now she's just stunning.

"Ricky."

"Can I come in?" he asks, breezing past her when she nods.

Adrian looks at him pacing her kitchen. "Something wrong?"

He nods, his hands balled up in fists. She sits in her chair at the table, waits for him to talk. She silently moves around froot loops in her blue bowl, spoon between her thumb and index finger.

Ricky's temper decreases, realizing that she's just waiting for him. (That might always be true but he doesn't let himself think it.)

He sits down in the chair next to hers, watches as she mixes her cereal around. "It's about Amy."

Adrian rolls her eyes, setting her spoon down. "As is everything," she mumbles.

"What?" he asks, though he's pretty sure he heard her.

She ignores his question, replying with one of her own. "What'd she do now?"

"Not her."

"So you- did you cheat on her?" the way she asks it leaves an implied _yet _at the end.

Ricky rolls his eyes. "No, God- why does everyone always assume that I will?"

Adrian raises her eyebrows, gives him a look.

He smirks, laughs dryly. "Right."

She smiles at him the way she always does when she knows she's right before grabbing her glass of water and getting up. "So what'd you do?"

"Well, she found out that I lied to her."

Adrian sighs, feels stoic. "What about?"

"About sleeping with someone after I got back. And," he pauses, "the day she got back."

"Oh." It still hurts her heart a bit, thinking of him with other girls (or _the girl_, whatever).

Ricky has his elbows on her table, moving his hands around. "And it's totally fucked too. We weren't even together yet."

She turns around abruptly, asks him, "What happened in New York?"

He rolls his eyes. He thought they were over that. "Why does everyone care so much?"

Adrian shrugs, stands at the counter, looks him in the eye.

He looks away toward the staircase. "I kissed her."

She looks away too but briefly and then turns back toward him. "That's it?"

"Yeah. It didn't mean anything, though. I kiss a lot of people. Doesn't have to be a big deal."

They both know that's a lie.

Adrian lets out a dry laugh. "I remember."

He smirks lets out a shade of a smile.

"I also know another girl; someone you shouldn't've kissed."

Ricky sighs. "Ashley? Yeah, even I'll admit that was a mistake."

She nods, doesn't need the mental image. She decides to return to the original subject. "So... Amy. She found out you lied."

"Yeah. She's not even mad that I slept with what's-her-face. It's just that I lied to her."

Adrian's heart hurts when Ricky looks away from her, to the house next door. He's really falling for Amy and Adrian hates herself for being so upset. She's pregnant with another guy's baby, so Ricky's not hers. He's not hers to hold on to anymore. She hates that maybe he never really was.

Adrian's brought out of her thoughts when he asks, "What should I do?"

She's confused. "What?"

He squirms and she sees this vulnerable, broken little boy. "How do I, you know, make it better?"

Adrian's eyes widen. As if it wasn't hard enough, seeing him happy and falling in love (the thought makes her want to cry and she sometimes does) with someone else that's not her. Now he wants her to help him with his relationship with the one girl she's always been threatened by.

_You want my help?_

Adrian turns around, walks slowly toward the window, looking through it and trying to hide her almost-tears. "I think you should apologize to her. Tell her that you're ready for a, a relationship. Maybe she won't believe you at first but she will. But, tell her with those eyes you use when you're super serious about something, your hands on her waist. She'll believe that you want to be with her," she starts tearing up, "and only her."

Ricky stands up, walks over to her slowly even though she's still turned around. She wants him to see that maybe what she's telling him doesn't pertain to Amy at all.

"Adrian, you-"

"Then kiss her the way, the way you did in New York. Just kiss her and she'll fall in love with you," she finishes, wiping her cheeks with her hand. _Just like I did_, is implied and she knows he knows it.

Ricky asks, "You want me to kiss her?"

Adrian turns around and sees that he's closer. She could already tell by the difference and closer distance in his voice but he's only a foot behind her (in front of her, she supposes) and a million thoughts are flying through her head. "Yeah, I- uh, want you to kiss her."

She means herself and he knows it. They both do. Ricky leans toward her the smallest amount she's ever seen him move. She stays where she is, doesn't dare move and looks up at him, makeup smudged and eyes big and beautiful and bulging. His face is dead serious and he's just looking at her, had always thought that she's been at her most beautiful when she's crying or has been crying.

Ricky backs away from her, doesn't say anything except a mumbled "thanks" as he opens the kitchen door with his right hand and closes it with his left.

Adrian lets out the breath she didn't know she was holding and places her tangled hands on her abdomen, feeling her bump and slightly smiling. "He was almost your daddy, baby."

She thinks she's a terrible person for even thinking it considering how much Ben and his family has done for her, but it doesn't mean she doesn't sometimes wonder how everything would've worked out if Ricky really were the father. But she wouldn't do that to him. She cares about him (loves him) too much.

Adrian looks down to her swollen stomach. "I was kind of hoping you'd kick when I said that, but I love you anyway."

Nothing. She lets out a little chuckle, walking into the living room, wiping away a few stray tears she hadn't gotten to yet. "Guess I should get used to you not listening to me, huh?"

She sits down on her couch, leg underneath the other, takes a few seconds to get comfortable, waits for the scene to unfold before her.

And the only reason she's even watching is because she told herself to get used to it (them). She also wants her advice to actually, you know, work even if it wasn't what she really meant.

She wishes she was good at lip reading but she's totally not and all she sees is Ricky walking up to Amy and tell her some stuff that Adrian's sure she doesn't want to hear. Then she sees Ricky kiss Amy and it's longing, forgiveness (love). It lasts about ten seconds too long and Adrian has to turn her head for a second before it's over.

She looks over at them through the window again and sees them close, breaths mingling, foreheads barely touching.

Adrian has to look away again. She still can't bare to see him with anyone else. She doesn't think she ever will. So she'll wait for him, as long as it takes. Because he'll always belong to her, even if he doesn't realize it now. He will. He always does.

.fin.


End file.
